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A Relationship with Adversity

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By Pooja Marwah

One of the most important qualities I look for in a person is their sense of humour. What are the kinds of things that make them laugh? Are they dark and morbid or quirky and light? What are their trigger responses? Is it consistent or does it vary with varying moods?

The ability to laugh in adversity is perhaps something I learnt at a very young age. If it is beyond your scope of control, then isn’t it best to just sit back and let things unravel? Everyone reacts to the best of their own capacity but sometimes even the best falls short. To have a relationship with someone, you first need to have one with yourself. It is a constant art of bettering yourself and learning from everyday life.

It isn’t going to be easy, for God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers and at the same time also ensures their victory if they have it in themselves to fight the war through. I am compelled to write about the coronavirus for it is in every home, in one way or the other. And it’s here to stay a while, no matter what we tell ourselves otherwise.

And this brings me back to dealing with adversity. In my belief, it is in this time that you truly see a person’s mental strength. It is in this that you realise who will and who won’t fight the war. It is in this situation you realise that you need to make peace with it and let it run its course.

Counterfactual thinking about the what-ifs and the should-be’s is not going to help at this point. The one thing that can help you tide over it is your own state of mind. When you have less to speak and more to listen, you have truly arrived. For that is when you have accomplished the power to deal with anything life throws your way.

You develop a sense of understanding and take stock of the situation before acting out to voices around… you learn to differentiate between melody and noise and only retain the former. You begin to understand that every adversity brings with it an opportunity and gives you scope to understand valuable insights which you may have overlooked in the humdrum of daily life.

Laughter is perhaps the only way out of an insane situation. Even when you have no real reason to, this is when you have to fight with yourself to deal with it in a positive light. A lot depends on emotional intelligence, and the remaining on the spiritual. And together they shape character.

Of course, humans are diverse beings and each has their own distinct way of dealing with things. But the one thing that does not change is that only the ones that remained calm and fought diligently came through victorious. And there are no two ways about it.

Have a relationship with adversity so that in the event, it decides to go to Base 3 with you, you have learnt the skills to seduce it to your advantage!

(Pooja Poddar Marwah is an award winning author and Blogger. She writes on contemporary living and offers incisive reflections on the world around us. Her blog, Random Conversations is a go to guide to deal with the myriad struggles we face each day.)