By Pooja Marwah
In 2013, the most trending word was Selfie.
And recently, one of the most trending hashtags is #selflove.
The itch that began 7 years ago, is still continuing and haphazardly at that. In my opinion, the divide between a man and a woman has increased even more so, for the #selflove appears to have been concocted for women primarily.
Self love is a ritual that everyone should follow to keep themselves happy. It stems from motivating oneself to process one’s own fears, to not feeling guilty in removing toxicity from one’s life, to being aware of the person you are inside, more than the appearance outside. It is a way of being alive. I think self love begins the minute you can speak your mind with humility, when you start finding pleasure in life’s simplicity or when you hear stories about yourself and are strong enough to laugh it off. It is a way to grow and does not in any manner, stand up as a feminist movement that it is now emerging to be.
What I find strangely amusing is that #selflove began as a trend to induce happiness and good spirits. But it has taken off on a tangent of a women’s liberation of sorts. I am proud to be born a woman and equally proud to admit that I need and want my man/partner to grow old with me.
Self love is not about living a life alone, but about allowing yourself to live the life you want. It is about learning to accept the things about you that you can’t change, and also to change the things about you that you can. It is about prioritising yourself, forgiving yourself, and also healing yourself.
But in no way does it imply that #selflove is a woman only zone. It isn’t and there is a valid reason for that. Man is a social being. And man needs woman as much as woman needs man. Sure, the roles are altering dynamically but as we age, we realise that companionship in any form is welcome – a spouse or a partner, a child or a parent, a sibling or a friend.
It really is nice to have someone who wants to know about your day. It gives a sudden rush of adrenalin to have someone hug you for no reason at all. And it sure feels like heaven to come home and have a pair of arms wait to envelop you in them.
Loving yourself is nice but there is a very thin line between that and arrogance. When you have someone around you that cares, it gives out an extra sheen or glow which is not just physical. It helps you age with warmth, compassion and positivity.
I am not taking anything away from people who are opting to be single. All I am trying to reiterate is that even in the freedom of “Singleton”, if you have someone to clink on that glass for a cheer, it more often than not, will let you age with a feeling of true love or friendship.
Indulge in #selflove for sure, but at the same time… know that a simple hashtag called #love is actually all you really need.
(Pooja Poddar Marwah is an award winning author and Blogger. She writes an contemporary living and offers incisive reflections
on the world around us. Her blog, Random Conversations is a go to guide to deal with the myraid stuggles we face each day.)