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An Affair with You


By Pooja Marwah

Has it been a while since you met yourself? When did you fall in love with the person you see in the mirror? Did you notice the fine lines? Or were you too occupied in mind and body to even see the person you were meant to be?

In their own way, everyone believes that they already are the best version of themselves but the question here is, are you really? Is there no evidence of toxicity in anything you do? Are you as ‘nutricis’ as you portray yourself to be or are you simply playing games?

A lot of questions, perhaps, that don’t even warrant answers, for somewhere deep inside, you already know. To quote George S Everly,

“The Latin word nutricis loosely translated means to nourish, to support, and to foster growth and development.”

There are times when you need to re-evaluate yourself. And you cannot do it by merely sitting alone and meditating. Solitude may help you to do some soul searching but honestly, if you ask me, most of us are a people’s person. So, the idea is to find oneself amidst the noise. I am in no mood to adorn the saffron robe and head to the mountains and I don’t think you are either.

In all practicality, you have to step out of your own shoes and look at the person standing in them, with an unbiased opinion. Is this what you want to be for the rest of your life? When you look at yourself as though you were going through proceedings on Judgement Day, you more often than not, will have the answers ready yourself. For everything else, there is Me! (Just kidding)

When I say have an affair with You, I am not implying high-headedness and conceit. Neither am I propagating vanity and self-obsession. An affair with YOU helps in building YOU up. It gives you focus and helps realise your dreams. When you are busy being the best and worst critic of your own self, are you truly capable of being one for someone else!!

The days are busy and there is a consistent race with time. It’s ironical isn’t it…To race against something that has its own pace, consistently. It is what it is and irrespective of who, what, why, how and when… it keeps passing you by. It smirks as it sees you pottering about, it laughs as it sees you enjoy the moment, it gets saddened when it sees you get pulled into your own abyss of negativity. Paulo Coehlo, one of my all time favourite Brazilian Men, says in a candid conversation, “We all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in an abyss.”

So, my next thought is fairly obvious here, as I wonder why knowingly some chose to walk into the unknown and the others into Fairy Land. The temptation in both results in ‘sweaty palms, thumping heartbeat, dryness in throat etc., etc’. But in a few moments of being a part of either of them, you realise if it is or isn’t for you. Right here, if you love the person you are – you will make the choice best suited to your own happiness.

You don’t control anyone or anything. You enter this world alone and for the most part will exit alone. The only thing you have which is yours to nurture and love is YOU. Children, family, friends… everyone has their own path. You are just a part of their journey, not their path. And that is one of the most beautiful lessons life has taught me, by experience.

Everything begins and ends with You. If you are happy, you spread joy. If you are low, the ones around you get low too. Try humour… and add to the growth in laughter clubs or perhaps attempt mischief and look around and see the giggles and titters surmount.

Keep negativity on a pedestal and watch what it does to you. Chase control and power and all you will end up doing is just that – Chasing!

So, go on and have an affair… for the high it brings, for the love it gets and for the oomph it promises. Have an affair so you finally find someone who adores you just the way you are.

Go on and have a tryst with Your own self so…You can bring out the bestest version of You!!

(Pooja Poddar Marwah is an award winning author and Blogger. She writes on contemporary living and offers incisive reflections on the world around us. Her blog, Random Conversations is a go to guide to deal with the myriad struggles we face each day.)