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Force or Not


By Pooja Marwah

There are so many times when you are trying to fall asleep but your brain seems to be off on a tangent of its own. You keep counting sheep, bricks, stars… anything that seems infinite at the time but you can’t fall asleep by forcing it. It comes when it comes.

When it comes to career or relationship goals, something similar happens. Life is like a series of events that are laid out in front of us. Depending on the way we perceive them and the manner in which we treat them, they either act as stepping stones or simply collapse leaving us clueless and confused.

Nothing in life can be forced, least of all relationships. For, you can’t pretend that something exists when it doesn’t. It goes against the laws of nature and everything that should have a natural course in time. In the attempt to force and re-kindle a broken friendship or heart, all you really end up doing is lowering your own self-worth and pushing the other person further away. It serves as an act of desperation that eventually won’t even last!

Maturity is when you learn to accept an apology you will never get. It is in understanding that time stops for no one, and what you do with your time is what really and truly matters. The sad part is when knowingly you have to force yourself to do something when deep inside you, it holds no relevance anymore. You cannot pressurise another human to behave in a manner that you consider appropriate, for people are what they are. But what you can do is either remove yourself from the equation or continue to live in a make believe world of pretence.

Letting go or moving on by no means undermines your own feelings of pain. But it does allow you to heal permanently and accept the scars instead of undergoing cosmetic makeovers to remove it. I think it gives a kind of closure to the mind. If I were to quote from history, as a result of the Pearl Harbour attack by the Japanese Air Force, America retaliated with the destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Japan was seething at the time and could have chosen to fight back, but what they sagaciously did instead was bury the hatchet and spend their constructive time in rebuilding and recreating those cities.

There is always something that separates the ‘Men from the Boys’. And wisdom to see beyond revenge is one of them. You don’t need to force them to do anything for they are comfortable in their own skin. They don’t crave attention, but command it without even trying; for they understand that respect is more ceremonious when it is given, not taken by force.

So, don’t force anything in life. More importantly, don’t push yourself to do something at the cost of your own free will. Things have a way of working out when they have to. The one thing you can do is understand, that ‘Today’ is what you have to call your own. And, for everything else…Que Sera Sera… Whatever will be will be!

(Pooja Poddar Marwah is an award winning author and Blogger. She writes an contemporary living and offers incisive reflections
on the world around us. Her blog, Random Conversations is a go to guide to deal with the myraid stuggles we face each day.)