By Alok Joshi
My daughter from the US asked me, “Dad, how does it feel to meet someone after 40 years?” I replied to her with borrowed words, “Some friendships (or even relationships) are like a pause button on a tape recorder. You just have to press it and the magic begins from where you left.” She could not believe that a long-lost friend would still be willing to meet after a long span of forty years.
Last week I met my friend (Prof Pramod Gupta) in Kathgodam. It was like “yesterday once more”. Four decades had melted away in thin air. Grey hair and wrinkles did not come in the way of youthful memories. For some reason, we had lost touch as he continued in the North-East until his retirement while I kept moving between jobs, cities and countries. Our journeys took us in different directions until we reconnected a couple of years back. I managed to crack the Civil Services’ Examination, resigned and left Kohima and him behind.
It so happened that he decided to settle down in his hometown, Haldwani, and my roots beckoned me to Dehradun. We did call up each other once in a while but we never met. His children and mine went to the US. So, one of us was always missing from India.
I booked my train ticket from Dehradun to Kathgodam and informed him that we were coming. We were travelling by train after many years. I always loved train journeys until flights took over. In the ‘80s, we used to travel by Tinsukia Mail and Assam Mail that took minimum 2-3 days to reach Kohima via Dimapur. On several occasions, the trains were stopped on the way by agitating students or by the railways for some technical reasons. Railway catering was abysmally poor and platform food and tea were atrociously insipid. There were thefts, chain snatchings and fights between passengers enroute. Once my brand-new boots were stolen and I had to buy chappals from one of the platforms. That incident got ingrained in my mind and even now I was tempted to hide my imported sneakers under my pillow.
Well, we had started our careers together in North Eastern Hill University as Lecturers in the early ‘80s in Kohima, Nagaland Campus. I don’t think many children today would opt to work far away from the comforts of their homes. Nor would the doting parents be willing to let their birds leave the nest. I must admire my parents for sending me to a world of adventure in the midst of ongoing student unrest (in Assam) and insurgency (in the north-east).
Back then we both were bachelors and happened to live as neighbours. He got married before me and I attended his wedding in Agra. His children had not met me before and I am often introduced in his family as the tall guy who attended his wedding and sang a song. I still can’t get over that I wore a suit at his wedding in the sweltering heat of Agra, grabbed the mike from the band wallas during the marriage procession on the streets, sat on the bonnet of his flower-bedecked car and sang a Kishore Kumar number, “Bhanwre ki gunjan hai mera dil”. In return, he too came all the way to attend my wedding in Chandigarh.
We met. We talked and talked. We had lots to catch up on. We shared our struggle stories, our present life and apprehensions. We doled out pieces of advice. For the first time, he narrated how my dad gave him a hard time during his PhD viva. It was nice to meet his wife Savita, who religiously served us morning tea every morning at her place. She has not changed much, neither in her appearance nor her culinary skills. My friend and I have always been Dev Anand, Rajesh Khanna and Kishore Kumar fans. We both love singing and listening to songs. We recalled the days when we were invited to the Officers’ Mess of 1/3 Gorkha Rifles for drinks and singing. As he drove me down the winding roads from Bhim Taal, he played those old songs, revisited old days and enjoyed his driving for once. The boat ride on the beautiful lake of Nainital was simply awesome. Even my wife, who is always shy of singing, surprised me with her spontaneous rendition of “Nainitalo, Naintalo re, ghoom aayo la, aankhan ma kajal…” which apparently, she sang when she was in 3rd standard. Our first visit to Nainital was refreshing, thanks to the hosts.
Friendship is the biggest treasure we need to value, especially in the evening of our lives. I lost two dear friends in the recent past. I don’t want to lose more. To quote Gulzar, “Ek din hum sab ek doosre ko sirf yeh soch kar kho denge ki who mujhe yaad nahin karta to main kyun karoon.” I have decided to step out, throw away my ego, dig out the contacts of my old friends, reconnect and make life more interesting. You can also do the same.
(Alok Joshi has a multi-cultural background and is a freelance writer, author of two books, motivational speaker and a Dehradun-based HR Advisor)
