By Roli S
‘Reunion’, the word itself is enough to generate in one the feeling of excitement, anticipation, hope and fervour. The family, college and school reunions are a good way to connect with old friends and family members but there is something special about the reunion of veterans and their families. Not because the friendships between veterans are any different but the experiences while serving in the defence services are unique and something else. The challenges, the adventures, the personal anecdotes are plentiful and out of the ordinary. A ‘reunion’ of retired ‘faujis’ comes with its own charm and attraction.
Recently, we had a reunion of the 12th Integrated Course of Naval Veterans from 25 to 29 March, 2023, in Mumbai. Retired officers all above 65 years of age and ladies mostly above 60 years of age gathered from different parts of India at the IMSC, Mumbai, for the initial phase of the reunion. It was so heartening to note that spouses joined representing their better halves, who were no more. A few children, grandchildren also joined, bringing in the young perspectives and energies. More such participation can be encouraged in future. All this was possible because of the earnest and determined efforts of one gentleman soldier, Vice-Admiral Anurag Thapliyal (Retd), who is a resident of Dehradun. Over countless zoom sessions, a few were motivated to join the reunion. Despite fervent efforts, the response to the 12th Course reunion was a bit limited as many course mates could not join due to various reasons.
Over the years since we left the Navy, there have been a few reunions that I have attended, the last being in Goa. Like these reunions, even I have evolved over the number of years. From a reluctant participant earlier to now, I have begun to see the value and band-aid that these reunions provide. Reunions are the perfect excuse to come together and it’s a great opportunity to meet old friends. In these times, for many, social media is like a reunion, because catching up is done in the comfort of your own bed. Scrolling through photos and statuses is too easy to not be done, but social media posts are not conversations. Don’t get me wrong, we all love seeing photos from our friend’s latest river rafting trip and reading about their feelings on the latest concert that they have attended. But these are a poor substitute for meeting them in person, hearing their voices and sharing a real laugh with them. The older we get, the more I have felt that reunions are the one event where everyone shows up older and then grows young again! It is exhilarating to be on a boat cruise surrounded by friends that reverses time. For those few hours one puts aside all pressing health issues and family matters and become twenty-five again! I really feel that there should be a way to bottle these experiences! This time when, during our reunion, I visited INS Mumagao, (the latest Destroyer of the Indian Navy fully made in India!) and INS Hamla (Joint Services Training Institute for Catering) with all my friends, I realised that nothing beats physically seeing these icons and appreciating the advances that the Indian Navy has made in the field of technology and other areas. Depending on who is going to be present, past experiences and histories, one never knows what is going to happen when one gets a group of people together who haven’t seen each other in a while. So be sure to bring your sense of humor! It will help you get through any awkward moments. Reunions are also an opportunity to meet someone new – someone who you had only heard about and never got a chance to meet as postings in the Navy kept you apart. I relished the opportunity to spend time with those I wanted to know better. A few of my best reunion memories have been these encounters.Then there are few reunion truisms one would notice, when one realises that no one’s life turned out exactly as planned and nearly all older folks are embarrassed by their younger selves. Sometimes, more heated debates and arguments emerge between them than any political debate, without the inhibitions of the protocols that one had to follow in the past. That is the reason I strongly believe that reunions reveal friendship potential that hadn’t emerged in the past! To me there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered over the years! But, during the reunion, every memory of friendship shared, even for a short time, is a treasure, like sunshine and warmth in our lives, like a cool breeze on a humid day, like a shower of rain refreshing the earth. Reunion teaches me that there is no way to remake your history in the image you want. But there can be more, if you are willing to look for those stories that were lost – you might just find someone new to forgive, to love, to grow with. Someone to take your hand and search with you! It’s like the universe nudges us to give it one more chance. I hope that reunions will continue, because sometimes it’s easy to forget how much you miss people until you see them again. Signing off, till we meet again!
(Roli S is an Educator, Teacher Trainer, Author and School Reviewer based in Thane.)