Home Forum Say it as it is…

Say it as it is…


By Pooja Marwah

Packaging is an art for some. The delicate curly ribbons sit pretty atop a coloured box or sashayed across the wrapping paper. The sheets of paper are embossed or engraved or perhaps even curated by hand. The tape has glitter, the name tag is personalised with paisley or floral motifs, the bows and embellishments are an added attraction and Voila! Your package is ready to make heads turn…

But what is inside? Something that you have put your heart into and bought? Or is it something that you have no need of, so decided to pass it forward, albeit with a great cover up!

Whatever be the reason, this was just an inanimate gift. For a moment, if instead of a thing, you put a person there, there would be a lot more said and done, wouldn’t it?

Covers are needed to disguise the bitter truth of the person inside of us. I use bitter, for the truth is not always accepted and a lie is a lie irrespective of how it is portrayed. There are few in the world around you that will be the same person inside and outside and, of course, will be the ones spoken about most, too. They don’t have diplomacy nor are they in the midst of a conversation to please. They are aware of their intellect and proud of their integrity so they end up coming across as border line arrogant. But the truth is, they voice it as it is for them. It is not hearsay or loose talk. It is a derivation made out of their own mind and they speak it as they know it best.

And then you have the ones who will use the camouflage to make the conversation interesting; like the packaging does to the insipid gift, perhaps. On the surface, it appears beautiful and takes your breath away but the minute the layers come off, you see the bare truth. And believe me, it is not always a pretty sight.

How tough could it be to say it as it is, to express exactly how you feel – no coverups or disguises? Isn’t that one of the basic requirements of any relationship or friendship? Just to know that you can be exactly who you are, without being judged about it elsewhere, the minute you move away. It really couldn’t be that difficult to disagree when you don’t agree and nod when you do. At the end of the day, knowing you are exactly who you want to be is one of the most profound discoveries made.

I saw a video on one of India’s greatest showmen, recently, who stressed on the need to take charge of one’s own life. He went on to say that people are okay entrusting a lifeless planet to shape their future but are wary of doing so themselves inspite of being human? What is it that is holding them back? The age old societal drama of ‘what will people say’?

People will say if you rely on the planet and people will also say if you rely on your own self. So, isn’t it better to be up front and say it as you want it? Believe in what gives you solace, by all means.. but that doesn’t mean you lose the ability to believe in your own self.

I’ve grown up hearing that life is a gift to treasure. Its fragility is what makes it beautiful. We don’t control the number of breaths we get to take, but we sure as hell can make every one of those worthwhile, can’t we?

So, why not say things as we feel it? If it gets accepted, great and if it doesn’t, it will tell you to change yourself. So, my question to you is… will you? Will you fight for what you believe in or will you simply give in to satisfy another’s inflated ago? Will you say the truth no matter what the collateral damage to your relationship is or will you choose to buy peace (of mind) and let the days pass you by in some false pretentious calm?

Will you change your beliefs because someone else cannot accept the person you are? Or will you be strong enough to say it as it is?

When you truly madly and deeply care about someone, you allow them basic freedom to be who they want to be. You don’t permutate them into an image you have in mind. Listening is very important and alongside that, being able to voice your true self, a lot more.

(Pooja Poddar Marwah is an award winning author and Blogger. She writes on contemporary living and offers incisive reflections on the world around us. Her blog, Random Conversations is a go to guide to deal with the myriad struggles we face each day.)