By Pooja Marwah
Sadness is a feeling
Being upset is a reaction
And, Un-happy is a choice!
It may sound absurd to read how unhappiness can be a choice. Why would someone in their right frame of mind opt to be unhappy? But if you sit back and contemplate a little, you will realise that it actually is.
Given that most of us have either been in isolation or been isolated from loved ones, there have been dispirited streaks of loneliness in us.
But to be able to push yourself out of that mould before it sets in too deep is a conscious choice you have to make. Hence, I say that being unhappy is a choice.
There are myriad things that happen in life which cause us to grieve, to hurt and to lose hope. And it is a natural state that each and every individual goes through at some or the other time in life. The takeaway from these moments of anguish is to force oneself to see beyond. Even when it appears that you are at the brink of collapse, there will always be one reason to get you out. And take, for instance, that there aren’t any… even in that moment of solitude, choice will present itself to you in two forms and the one you pick will be your way out.
It isn’t easy to look for the rainbow when you are grappling with a storm but then easy has never been worth it. To give yourself a life to reckon with, being happy is the only choice you need to take. This by no means implies that you can’t feel sorrow. For emotions are what make us real. Going through feelings of pain and delusion are normal. Given this, normal is also the ability to take a deep breath and push yourself to come out of it. While there are instances in life that are irreversible, you have to remember that your life itself is too.
I remember reading a report on fear from one of the leading psychiatrists of the world. “The only way to beat it (fear) is to embrace it. Don’t fight it for it will keep coming back. Let yourself feel, cry if you must but don’t deny yourself the process of healing.”
We are not born the same and neither will life pan out similar. But what will bind us, should we choose to accept it is, the philosophy of the Africans called Ubuntu – I am because we are. It is the basic principle of humanity that instils the value of self with others. Success is never attributed to the person at the top solely. It is a collective effort of people around that pushes you to achieve. Likewise, if you want to be happy, you have to surround yourself with people that will ensure your state of mind. I believe in the theory of the universe that conspires to give us everything we ask for. There is some magnetic force out there that attracts thoughts and words and then boomerangs them back at us. And this is where choice fits in.
With a continuously evolving world, you have to evolve as a person too. You have to find it in you to feel, not react. You need to take time to choose the right path when you arrive at the fork between happy and sad. Moreover, if you come to a dead end, wherein the choice is not given, the only way out is to accept it and then alter your own perception to make the most out it.
Life will shake you out of your comfort zone many a time. So, you can intensify that shake by adding music and jiving or you can aggravate it by complaining. The choice will always be yours to have.
(Pooja Poddar Marwah is an award winning author and Blogger. She writes an contemporary living and offers incisive reflections on the world around us. Her blog, Random Conversations is a go to guide to deal with the myraid stuggles we face each day.)
