By Aishwarya Bhargava Chakraborty
“Being taken for granted is an unpleasant but sincere form of praise. Ironically, the more reliable you are and the less you complain, the more likely you are to be taken for granted.” – Gretchen Rubin
Marriage is a sacred institution that thrives on the foundation of love, trust, and mutual understanding. While modern society has made significant progress towards equality, there’s still a general tendency to overlook the invaluable contributions and sacrifices made by husbands in the context of marriage. We often talk about the challenges and contributions of wives and tend to forget about the vital role of husbands. In the journey of marriage, appreciating and acknowledging the efforts of our partners is a cornerstone of a healthy and thriving relationship. While both partners contribute to the success of a marriage, it is important to focus on the often-underappreciated role of husbands.
In traditional gender roles, husbands were often seen as providers and protectors. Whether it’s working hard to provide for the family, fixing things around the house, or offering emotional support during challenging times, husbands often go about their duties without seeking recognition. Husbands are not just providers; they are pillars of emotional support. They listen during moments of vulnerability, offer a reassuring presence in times of distress, and provide unwavering encouragement. The emotional labour that husbands invest in maintaining a stable and nurturing environment often goes unnoticed. Recognising their role as emotional anchors is crucial for fostering a deeper connection.
Many husbands bear the responsibility of being the primary breadwinners, working tirelessly to provide a comfortable living to their families. While financial contributions are often acknowledged, the extent of the pressure and responsibility placed on husbands in this regard is sometimes underestimated. Balancing the demands of a career to provide for the family, managing financial obligations, and striving for a secure future can be overwhelming. Along with the financial contributions the division of household responsibilities have also evolved over time, with many husbands at present have been actively participating in domestic chores and childcare. Appreciating their contributions in maintaining a clean and comfortable home, preparing meals, and sharing parenting responsibilities is vital. As societal roles continue to evolve, husbands find themselves navigating complex expectations. Balancing career demands, familial responsibilities, and personal growth can be challenging.
Husbands, like their wives, make personal sacrifices for the family’s well-being. Whether it’s putting aside personal aspirations, compromising on personal time, adjusting career paths for the family’s benefit, or prioritising family needs over individual desires, these sacrifices often go unnoticed. From planning surprises to expressing affection in various ways, husbands contribute significantly to the emotional connection within a marriage. However, these acts of love can be overshadowed by the busyness of daily life or simply taken for granted.
The question is why are husbands not appreciated enough and why appreciation matters?
Societal expectations and stereotypes regarding gender roles can play a significant role in the lack of appreciation for husbands. The traditional notion that men should be uncomplaining providers may lead to underappreciation of their emotional and domestic efforts. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, couples may find it challenging to communicate effectively about their needs and expectations. Communication gaps and assumptions about roles within the relationship can lead to a lack of explicit acknowledgment. Open and honest communication is vital for understanding each other’s needs and expressing gratitude for the efforts put forth. Cultural norms and expectations can play a significant role in shaping the dynamics within a marriage. In some cultures, there might be an indirect expectation that men should shoulder the burden without expecting acknowledgment. Modern life is fast-paced, and couples often find themselves caught in work, family obligations, and personal pursuits. In the midst of these demands, appreciation may take a backseat, leaving husbands feeling undervalued and overlooked.
Appreciation is the glue that binds emotional connections in a marriage. When husbands feel valued and recognised, it strengthens the emotional bond between spouses. This, in turn, fosters a sense of security and trust, creating an environment where both partners can share their thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities without fear of judgment. Everyone craves acknowledgment and recognition for their efforts. Husbands are no exception. Regular expressions of appreciation boost their self-esteem and confidence, encouraging a positive self-image. Feeling appreciated at home often translates into increased productivity and a more positive outlook on life. Appreciation opens the channels of communication. When husbands feel their efforts are recognised, they are more likely to express their thoughts and feelings openly. This creates an atmosphere where both partners can share their needs, aspirations, and concerns, fostering a deeper understanding of each other. A marriage built on mutual appreciation is likely to be stronger in the face of challenges. Recognising and valuing each other’s contributions creates a positive cycle of mutual exchange. As husbands feel appreciated, they are more inclined to reciprocate, strengthening the marital bond and creating a supportive partnership that can weather the storms of life.
Simple expressions of gratitude can go a long way in making husbands feel appreciated. A heartfelt “thank you” for their hard work, support, or contributions to the family can make a significant impact on their emotional well-being. Whether big or small, celebrating husbands’ achievements is crucial. Acknowledging their professional accomplishments, personal milestones, or even small victories in daily life reinforces their value within the marriage. Small, thoughtful gestures can communicate appreciation effectively. Surprising husbands with their favourite meal, planning a special date night, or leaving a heartfelt note can convey love and gratitude in tangible ways. Encourage open communication about feelings and expectations. Regularly checking in with each other about how both partners are coping with their roles and responsibilities cultivates a supportive and understanding atmosphere.
Being married and witnessing my husband’s tireless dedication to our family, I find myself feeling incredibly fortunate. His constant commitment to work hard for us and navigate the complexities of life with determination has not gone unnoticed. As I observe the many roles he plays – a devoted partner, a caring son, and a hardworking professional – I’ve come to a deep realisation about the importance of appreciating husbands. It’s in the quiet moments of him working late, the small gestures that show his love, and the sacrifices he makes for our shared dreams that I recognise the depth of his contributions. In understanding the significance of his efforts, I’ve embarked on a journey to express my gratitude more intentionally. Whether through simple words of appreciation, celebrating his achievements, or acknowledging the challenges he faces, I’ve learned that recognising his role is not only a way to honour his hard work but also a means to strengthen the foundation of our marriage. Appreciation, I’ve discovered, is the key to nurturing the connection that makes our partnership resilient and fulfilling.
Appreciation is a powerful tool that encourages love, respect, and connection in any relationship. Recognising and appreciating husbands for their silent but significant contributions is not just a gesture of gratitude; it’s an investment in the strength and lasting power of the marital bond. By understanding the importance of appreciation and actively incorporating it into the fabric of a marriage, couples can create a nurturing and fulfilling partnership that stands the test of time. After all, in the symphony of marriage, every instrument deserves its moment in the spotlight.
