By Pooja Marwah
At the cost of sounding overtly presumptuous, everyone enjoys fame to extents that are variable to themselves. As human beings, we are designed to bask in the knowing that we are popular, that we are successful, that we are rich beyond means. And this begins at the school level wherein we have popularity contests, wherein we all want to be in the so called ‘cool’ gang or befriend people that are acing on the sports field!
So, my question here is – what happens when the spotlight gets turned off? Who do you become? Or, more importantly – what?
The projection of our outer self is a far cry from who we are inside of us. A lot of us rely on pretence just so we can fit in or be a part of a conversation. Some of us go as far as even propagating and presenting versions of ourself that we really are not. So, why are we in a constant state of pleasing people just to gain some sort of external validation?
What really is this so called external validation?
With the advent of social media engulfing our lives as rapidly as a tsunami wave, it almost feels like a constant race, not with ourselves but with the people around us. Someone else’s display, someone else’s popularity, all simmer and boil on your own aspirations. So much so, that over time, you often even forget the person you really are. All you focus on is getting better than someone else, climbing higher than another!
But life, the beauty of this simple four letter word, is so encompassing, that it patiently keeps teaching you to slow down – to be real – to be you. It isn’t a race, for every one of us has a different finish line, so it is important to understand that doing things at your own pace is what will actually give you the required peace of mind.
Desiring a certain amount of external validation may be normal and even healthy, but there is a very fine line here that, if crossed, can become an addiction. Yes, desiring praise and attention constantly inflates your self-esteem to a place which may or not even be real. For everything, including stardom, fades and it is at this juncture that you begin seeking more admiration as a last minute resort to fuel the inflated ego.
So, how does one balance this internal external struggle?
The most vital point I’d make here is that it is okay not to be perfect. You don’t always have to turn out impeccably dressed, hair blowdried and face made up. You don’t need to have this pressure of always having to look good, externally. For you need to understand that you are as valuable and valid when you are in tracks and a tee! It isn’t just the exterior but the interior that makes you – You.
So, irrespective of when that spotlight turns off, if you are comfortable in your own skin, if you are happy being you, if you find yourself unfazed by the noise around that is designed to cause havoc to your mind, you will actually find that you are perfect, being you!
(Pooja Poddar Marwah is an award winning author and Blogger. She writes an contemporary living and offers incisive reflections on the world around us. Her blog, Random Conversations is a go to guide to deal with the myraid stuggles we face each day.)
