World Mental Health Day: Grow Up, Gently
By Aditi Arora
When I trained as a psychotherapist in Vienna, there were no dating apps. I met people on my cycling routes, at expat book clubs, and in long, unplanned conversations on the subway.
Nothing was a means to an end. My grandmother used to tell all her grandchildren, “Everything is happening for your own good.” Today we might call it the law of attraction. Back then it was simply how we lived. A film, an ad, or a scrawl of graffiti could inspire me. A low phase was an invitation to go deeper and find out what was blocking me.
Today, among the people I work with, young, middle-aged, and everyone in between, I see escapism has moved in. It is rarely the first problem, but excessive indulgence in it is often what brings people to the doorstep of a diagnosis. Another culprit is silence at home. Many people carry their work culture through the front door. Corporations need a polished, bespoke image to survive. A family does not.
Years ago I met a celebrated musician, a maestro, who could not sustain a romantic relationship. He had every comfort money can buy, yet he was clingy and controlling. His abundance never reached his thinking, so it never reached his actions. He believed that perception is everything. When we get good at performing a version of ourselves that is acquired and temporary, we are quietly heading toward an internal crisis.
This is where Einstein comes in. Think of it as relativity. We work, strive, achieve, and plan for retirement, and somewhere in that strategy many of us feel stressed and hollow. To fill the gap, clients tell me about ashrams and living gurus. Often they end up stuck between control and surrender, still confused. What is hard, at any age, is finding the courage to have an honest conversation with oneself.
That is why I speak of being age-appropriate, in the fullest psychological sense. It begins when we take responsibility for our successes and our failures. Without that, we drift out of step with our own time. Some people deny their age and avoid maturity. Some children are pushed into adulthood far too soon. Our youth look for mentors in a generation that refuses to age, followed by one that is being rushed to hyper-adult. When a problem keeps repeating, its gravity bends our sense of self against space and time.
I wonder whether Einstein ever imagined trauma response. His theory, unknowingly, describes what so many are trying to unlock through mind, body, and soul.
So this World Mental Health Day, don’t wait for the apple to land on your head. Step outside your patterns and gather data on yourself: what you do, when, and why. Then place it in context, in your own space and your own time.
(Aditi Arora is a Dehradun based psychotherapist trained at the University of Vienna, currently Emotional Health advisor to Olympus High School.)
