By Ravi Singh Negi
Whether you are a professional or service class, sooner or later you have to take retirement from your job. Professionals may work longer till their physical and mental health permits but, most of the employees, either government or private, have to retire from the job at the age of 60. It is a new beginning in the life of a person. After retirement, every person wants a peaceful and comfortable life for which proper long-term planning is required.
Finances, health and loneliness are three major post-retirement challenges faced by an individual. After retirement your income drops considerably, your medical expenses are bound to increase, and your basic expenses remain the same. If you are not a pensioner and have not planned your finances for a regular income after retirement, you are likely to be financially dependent on others and feel insecure and lose confidence. On the other hand, a financially strong person is confident, independent and feels more secure. If you are financially sound, you will find many other activities to keep you busy or if you have planned and find a way to utilise your work experience for new activities, you will feel less lonely.
Another problem which is least discussed is when the old couple is staying with their married children and expect from them in return what they have done for them. Either out of love or some selfish motive, people think that it is the duty of children to take care of their old parents financially and emotionally. Knowingly or unknowingly, a sense of fear is instilled in the mind of children that in their (parents’) old age they will experience deep suffering if they are not looked after and supported by their children. As far as the son is concerned, he is emotionally attached to the parents so he tries to fulfill their financial needs, but many times the daughter-in-law does not like it and she considers her full right on the income of her husband, so the dispute arises and in many cases the daughter-in-law leaves the matrimonial home but parents remain calm even after great friction in the relationship between their son and daughter-in-law, which in many cases results in divorce in the absence of proper counselling. On the other hand, where old parents have daughter(s) only, such daughter(s) are more attached to their parents, they start paying more attention to the parents than their husband and in-laws. Such daughters start helping their parents financially out of their husband’s money. Their frequent and long stay with parents and spending husband’s money or even their own earned money on their parents is not liked by the in-laws. Conflict grows between in-laws and daughter-in-law which is slowly disseminated to husband and ultimately daughter goes to the parents’ house and remains there for a long time and the rift with husband and in-laws widens, and many times end in a divorce. Her parents do not try to reconcile the matter seriously but support her.
Such situations usually arise when parents are financially weak. Financially strong parents and those who have properly planned their post-retirement innings are happy and not dependent on their children, they live on their own with desired freedom. So, there is least interference in the married life of their children, who remain happy at least from one aspect of life.
(The writer is an Advocate, Social Worker and Marriage Counsellor)
