Even as the murder in Meghalaya of a newlywed groom from Indore, allegedly at the behest of his wife, remains in the headlines, news has come in of a married woman being stabbed to death in Bangaluru by her extra-marital lover. This is continuation of a trend that is being seen in many parts of India, particularly where the conservative mindset still has a hold. It is also part of a psychological disconnect with reality that inclines people to take extreme steps like murder to resolve personal issues. It is part of the increasing violence witnessed everywhere – in homes, the streets, colleges, schools, the playground, the workplace, etc. This indicates that there is a weakening in the psychological restraint that comes from an ethical and cultured upbringing.
Present day culture increasingly does not provide the necessary sanctity to the bonds of marriage. That is probably the result of an ‘emancipation’ of a kind among the youth. However, the legal difficulties involved in breaking off such bonds are immense as anybody who has gone through the process would testify. It sometimes takes decades to obtain a divorce and can cost a fortune, as there are those who have turned the process into a lucrative racket. The distribution of assets, sharing custody of children, determining alimony payments, etc., can destroy a person’s life. This may also be a reason for spouses resorting to shortcuts like murder.
Ironically, even as the marriage bond is losing its hold, in many cases the traditional family values force people, particularly women, to accept matrimonial alliances despite having a relationship with someone else. Resorting to murdering one’s partner is considered the more convenient path instead of going against one’s parents’ wishes. This is how the modern and the traditional are mixing in much of present-day society.
Everybody is expressing surprise that something so simple as living according to one’s wishes can be extremely difficult for some people. And yet, this is the emerging reality. The impact of this new phenomenon on the psychology of youngsters is also proving to be considerable, who are already disinclined to get married or have long-lasting relationships. The malaise exists across the working and middle-classes, so it cannot be attributed to a lack of education. Of course, the psychological impact of such incidents is far out of proportion to the actual reality – as most marriages remain healthy and positive relationships. Even so, society needs to ponder over the remedies required, which will begin with families adopting a more open and accepting attitude.
