An example of ‘passive aggression’ is when an obese person sits next to one in an economy class seat in an aircraft and overflows on to the adjoining one. First, the armrest is surrendered and, then, a tilt away in the effort to accommodate becomes painful (particularly in an Indigo flight that does not take off). The obese person is not at fault – except maybe for an entire life of excess consumption – he or she is usually not even aware of the discomfort being caused.
In the case of flight or train rides it does not last very long and eventually there is relief and a reawakened appreciation of just normal everyday space. However, there are other kinds of such aggression when a more permanent neighbour inflicts disproportionate size across boundaries. It may be China in the case of India, after having occupied Tibet, or some powerful person – politician, Richie Rich, or real estate developer – living next door whose ‘daily’ activities take over all the neutral space around. It is difficult to push them back because one mostly encounters order-following staff that has few discretionary powers. The master is always distant, unapproachable and ‘sometimes’ dangerous if aggravated. Getting involved in a pushing match, as with the obese person in limited space, ends mostly in surrender or embarrassment.
The only solution is if ‘higher forces’ play their designated role without having to be invoked. The alert flight attendant may find a vacant seat elsewhere for the (op)pressed victim. Or, the municipal authorities can lay down the law to limit the expansive neighbour. Or, the laws of nature and economics may provide relief by raising the social profile of the offender by their seeking more spacious and suitable accommodation elsewhere.
Being civilised isn’t easy. Often, it takes generations to transform, but that provides little relief in the here and now. It is possible to vacate and shift in the flight or the train, but not so much in a patterned and established life. At what point will passive aggression trigger a desperate response resulting in the kind of incident reported from streets and colonies on an almost daily basis? It also has to do with prevalent culture – Haryana witnessing more of it than Uttarakhand. But the problem remains and solutions have to be found.
