The economic downslide in the developed nations, has led to the rise of young people in their mid-thirties living at home with their parents. This has led to a realisation of the advantages that accrued from the joint family system, which is tradition in Asian countries. Individualism has such iconic status in Western society that even though it has become necessary for young people to stay at home, the derogatory terms – momma and daddy’s girl or boy – are being used for them. In the competitive environment encouraged in societies like the US and UK, rather than appreciating the savings to be made from sharing accommodation and resources with one’s parents, it is considered a mark of failure. The philosophy of ‘my way or the highway’ has developed to a level of ‘selfishness’ where even married couples are unwilling to make adjustments, either for the marital bond or the children, leading to an extraordinarily high divorce rate. This has led to a situation in which the only family that almost fifty percent of the children have is either a struggling single mother, or the state welfare machinery.
Indeed, much of the individualism that has developed in these societies is due to the perceived pursuit of personal happiness, with the ‘system’ expected to take care of the rest. The greater the responsibility ‘state welfarism’ has taken for even family situations, the less responsible parents or children have felt towards their family members. As long as the economy grew, this welfarism took on gargantuan proportions in inverse proportion to the concept of the family. (Indeed, even the nature of the family has changed considerably owing to the number of divorces and remarriages. It has come to be described as the ‘extended’ family with a child having more than the usual two sets of grandparents, various kinds of siblings, caretakers, etc.)
Now, families are having to live together, which requires people to curb their individualism to a considerable extent. One has to consider the feelings and requirements of other persons; make adjustments to lifestyles, schedules, as well as leisure activities. Western society projects the stage before children achieve adulthood as a ‘compulsion’ on the part of, both, the parents and them. They are expected to exercise their ‘freedom’ by moving out of the house after eighteen, or as soon as possible thereafter. If, however, they have to live together voluntarily, the whole attitude requires a radical change, with the units of the group – the parents and the children – acknowledging the help that is being provided. Under such circumstances, the ego needs to be curbed and a symbiotic relationship, both, on the economic and emotional levels, needs to be developed. This requires an entirely different value system.
Whether it is the steep rise in the cost of obtaining fresh digs, or the convenience of living a comfortable bachelordom, the increased coalescence in the nuclear family is likely to enhance the appreciation for sustainable lifestyles in an increasingly challenging economic environment. These developments will also check the decline in the tradition in countries like India, where financial stresses have increased because of the emergence of the nuclear family as the norm. In India, at least, there is no social or cultural stigma against the joint family; indeed, it is considered the ideal, both, emotionally and economically. It allows the better off to help the less advantaged in the family, even as shared resources lead to greater bonding. The ‘burden’ of the elders is shared, while the resulting altruistic behaviour enhances spiritual health. In fact, the joint family is making an innovative comeback even in the bigger urban centres, with families purchasing flats in the same building, or houses at the same place. Children’s activities, social do’s, religious functions, holidays, etc., are managed in a coordinated manner. Clearly, this time- honoured tradition is not disappearing any time soon, particularly in India.
