By Anand Kumar Srivastava
“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” – Desmond Tutu
India is an ancient country with deep-rooted values and traditions. We believe in the concept of Vasudhaiva Kutumbkam – meaning the whole world is one family. We have had a wonderful tradition of three generations of the same family living under the same roof with mutual love, affection and regard. The concept of a joint family has always been liked and appreciated in our cultural set-up. In a joint family, grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins, parents and siblings enjoy their lives in the same house.
There are numerous advantages to living in a joint family. First of all, the child gets an excellent opportunity to grow with a better understanding of family values and the importance of cooperation and coexistence. There are several people showering their love and affection on them. At the same time, the child is under constant observation of elders who monitor their progress and development.
“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of humans, are created, strengthened and maintained.” – Winston Churchill
There are many lessons in life that children do not learn in school or in a formal set-up. But they understand these better and easily in the set up of a joint family. The importance of sharing joys and sorrows of achievements and failures of day to day life, supporting siblings at the time of crises, calculating dangers when things go wrong and settling petty disputes with cousins are some of the prominent experiences that are part and parcel of growing up in a joint family.
Abundance of faith and a feeling of togetherness have a significant role in grooming one’s perception of life. All these fundamentals of life slowly but surely become an integral part of one’s life in a joint family. Dealing with problems is a collective responsibility. The support system is powerful and dependable at the time of any misfortune.
Human life is not a one-day affair. One has to go through a series of situations; some are pleasant and others may not be so encouraging. No one can predict how things will unfold at different stages of life. It is the family bond and unity that helps one to face all sorts of events in life.
Every rose has a thorn. Similarly, living in a joint family may have some disadvantages. Limited income, dealing with family members of different attitudes and temperaments, adjusting to a limited space, lack of privacy and shouldering others’ responsibilities are some of the woes of a joint family.
The world has witnessed enormous changes in all areas of human life including family set up, food habits and dressing sense. Progress in the field of science and technology guided us into a quite different system, where joint families became burdens and started losing their significance. The shift from villages to cities, compulsions of jobs, needs for education in tune with the times and many other opportunities reduced the relevance of joint families. With the enormous growth of population, young men had to come out of their traditional family set up and it developed the concept of nuclear families which consists of husband, wife and children. Today, the nuclear family is both a need and a compulsion in the fast-changing world.
There are several plus and minus points to a nuclear family. First of all, it provides plenty of financial freedom as the money is to be shared by a few people. This also helps parents to provide the best education and other facilities to their children. They can fulfill their ambitious dreams and projects of life like enjoying family outings to foreign lands, buying the best clothes and toys etc.
“It is a matter of economic wellbeing that most families be formed as mother, father, and children in a single-family household.” ― Hendrith Vanlon Smith Jr, Principles of a Permaculture Economy
In a nuclear family there are fewer possibilities of clashes among different members and they have time to concentrate on their ambitions and aspirations. Their financial condition allows them to do charity for society.
In a nuclear family, we don’t have a support system and it can be disastrous in a crisis. The feeling of togetherness and emotional fulfillment plays a crucial role in shaping a child’s personality. He or she gets no opportunities to share belongings with siblings. This makes them an autocrat with limited vision.
“Two parents can’t raise a child any more than one. You need a whole community – everybody – to raise a child. And the little nuclear family is a paradigm that just doesn’t work. It doesn’t work for white people or for black people. Why are we hanging onto it? I don’t know. It isolates people into little units – people need a larger unit.” – Toni Morrison
Nuclear families are good for the nation as our population has increased with enormous speed since Independence and, today, we are the most populous nation in the world. Area wise, we are sixth and our natural resources are reducing sharply forcing us to live in poverty, distress and a polluted atmosphere. The growing needs of the population are resulting in vanishing forests and natural wealth. The problem of water, noise and air pollution invites a disastrous situation. Growing population in the country is the cause of many problems. Hence, in order to keep control of, both, man-made problems and imbalances in nature, we need to encourage nuclear families.
Hence, we reach the conclusion that both joint and nuclear families have advantages and disadvantages. It is really becoming increasingly challenging to return to joint families in modern times. But we should try not to lose our family ties with our cousins and grandparents. In the modern world there are many applications like WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, email, etc., that can help us in keeping contacts alive. Basically, India is a traditional country and, as far as possible, we should not lose our ties with immediate relatives.
“Family roots are important, strong, tall and colourful. Need to care for them, not let them get dry”. Anonymous
(The author is Principal, DAV Intermediate College)
