By Pooja Marwah
Kindness is not handing over a 100 rupee note to a homeless person. It is buying the hot meal and giving it to him, whilst you look him in the eye.
Generosity is not merely giving a large sum of money to a charity but spending time with the people who are dependent on that organisation to live.
Money is important but, alongside that, you also need to have empathy. Sometimes, all someone needs is a person to talk to or a hand to hold. It is the emotional connect that needs to be made for another to feel good. People don’t remember what you say or do for, over time, the memory does blur. But people always remember how you make them feel.
If someone treats you badly, it isn’t so much about you as it is their own inner reflection. It is the chaos that they are feeling inside which propels them to pass it upon you, thereby hurting you in the process. But more often than not, we blame ourselves for someone else’s harsh accusations.
I was recently asked to partake in a women’s empowerment programme, which I declined as the topics of the debate lacked one vital point – the mind. We can upskill, we can teach financial independence, develop personality but how far will this take us if our mind is conditioned to be dependent on another’s approval?
Change can only occur if the mind welcomes it. Perceptions can only alter if you are brave enough to believe in yourself. You can only feel empowered if you have it in you to accept the deviations caused by life; for life can be more brutal than kind.
It is human to lose our cool and act in haste and animosity. And this anger and frustration that we exude, is actually directed at our own selves. It is our inner complexities that we show when we raise our voice or react in a manner that is disrespectful. Whether it is a child or a grown up, a colleague or a stranger… what you really are as a person, shows in how you treat another.
It is easy to camouflage an appearance but real beauty never needs to be layered. And by beauty, I am not referring merely to a physical appearance, but beauty of a soul. There are some people that touch your life in a way that they embed deep scars. And then there are those that stoically help you create an artwork around yourself. A harsh word spoken, a hurtful action done is a spur of the moment vexation. It need not have lasting results, should you yourself have the maturity of accepting it as an act of instability from the person.
Emotionally, we all need to feel connected to be able to grow. If I were to define it in psychological terms, empathy broadly falls into three categories – Cognitive, Emotional and Compassionate. Each of these helps us better ourselves so we can better the world around us.
What we really need as a race is to understand that people are meant to be valued and things are meant to be used. But sadly, the confusion amongst them stands reversed. Treating another human with kindness is perhaps the greatest CSR you can ever do… Helping another see the world in an unbigoted manner may just open out a whole new world for you.
Let’s pledge to be kind.