By Alok Joshi
“I am busy” is one of the most commonly used phrases in modern times. “Being busy” has become a kind of social currency. People have no time to talk or listen. They are part of a rat race where self-interest bordering on selfishness becomes paramount. We have heard of rising number of suicides in all age groups. Perhaps they could have been saved if there was someone who had time to talk to them or, more importantly, listen to them.
Sometimes, it may be just a way of telling others how important we are. If we are busy, we are important, right? Wrong. There is a difference between being busy and being efficient and getting things done. Busy people fill their time with a lot of trivial tasks, whereas efficient people prioritise and focus on results.
We are all busy, but the question is busy with what. Even ants are very busy. They run around alone or in groups, trying to find food. But they still stop for a split second to meet and communicate with other ants.
Have we become worse than ants? Don’t you agree that we need to pause and take a breather sometimes?
The disease of being “busy” can gradually destroy us physically and mentally. We fail to spend quality time with our loved ones and lose out on making precious memories.
Poet WH Davies rightly said, “What is this life if, full of care, / We have no time to stand and stare.”
Those who are legitimately busy do not play the “too busy” card and will find time for meaningful connections. So, if you are one of those people who always put up a “busy” status, it’s probably time to slow down a bit and step back to reflect on what you are missing.
Technological advancements have made life convenient and shrunk time. The world has become a global village. We can cross continents within a span of a few hours as compared to our ancestors who had to spend weeks and months to undertake the same journey. Yet, we say – there is no time.
Joint families have been replaced by nuclear families, yet we have no time. Food was cooked for a dozen people. Today we have instant noodles, Zomato/Swiggy, etc. But we have no time.
There was a time when we had to wait for hours at the telephone booth to get through our calls. We looked at the running phone meters as calls were expensive. Sometimes, most of the time was eaten up just in exchanging hellos. But hearing your mom’s or dad’s voice was such a big relief. It took an endless wait to see somebody’s face but now we have access to instant free audio/ video calls.
We have elevators and escalators to move us around within minutes. Mobile phones have enabled us to save time on endless waits in banks, public utility departments to pay bills and indulge in online shopping instead of spending hours on commute. Travel bookings, medical tests, cabs, Blinkit/Zapto have made life convenient and save time. Still time is a scarce commodity.
The roads are busy with ever-increasing traffic but people riding two-wheelers or cars are even more busy. Have you not seen Scooty riders…one hand on the handle, the other holding the phone – no time to stop and take the call. I even saw a man driving his Scooty with wife and daughter doing a video call. The same goes for car drivers. No time, no patience. Think of patients in ambulances fighting for life…trying to save every second.
Let us be honest. If we want or need to meet someone genuinely, we do find time to meet or at least talk on the phone. Everything else is an excuse. It is not about” having” time; it is about “making” time. When I moved to this city after decades of globetrotting, I was stupid to assume that my friends and relatives would become my support. But it dawned on me the soonest that they are engrossed in their own world. “Jise bhi dekhiye khud apne aap mein gum hai”. They have their own battles to fight. They have their own interests. You are nowhere in their emotional radar if you cannot contribute towards their ambitions. Basically, you are on your own.
A friend of mine gave me a shocker by saying that he was too lazy to drive to meet me or anyone for that matter. He prefers to stay at home. Whether anybody meets him or not, he is quite OK either way. He happened to be one of my friends who I thought would help me when I was a newbie to the city.
I come from a generation where anyone could come to our home unannounced and were always welcome. Youngsters were expected to visit and check on elders once in a while. Now it is the other way round. The new generation expects a prior notice and
appointment. Things have changed and so have my expectations.
The good thing is that in this new world, we will still find goodness. There are still a handful of people who have time to consider your well-being. A friend of mine came all the way from Chhattisgarh to meet me after a span of over four decades. I have also reconnected with my school friends after ages.
The only unsolicited advice I always give to youngsters is to spend more time with their parents. All that parents want from their children is not money, not luxury but time. Don’t wait until you settle down or retire. I thought, like some others, to spend all my post-retirement time with my aged parents. But destiny does not work according to our plans. When I finally returned to my nest, it was perhaps too late. I lost both of them within the span of a couple of years. So, the right time is today. Tomorrow is NOW.
The biggest gift anyone can give to somebody is their time. Because when someone gives you time, he/ she is giving a slice of their life. Because time given to us by others, never returns.
So, you have all the right to be busy, but don’t be so busy as to ignore your near and dear ones. Don’t be so busy as to feel guilty later. Give time to relationships. Pick up the phone and call your mom and dad, a dear friend or a relative. Pick up a phone and call them NOW. I tried to reconnect with one of my school buddies. But I was late by a day. My message still lies in his inbox. He unexpectedly passed away that night without seeing my message. Don’t keep running. Slow down. Take a breather. Give time to yourself, your inner self. Believe me, nothing changes, nothing stops.
(Alok Joshi is former Director (HR & Marketing) PetroChina (CNPC); Head HRD, GNPOC, Sudan; Head HR, Mumbai High Asset, ONGC; Civil Services probationer; author of three books plus over a hundred published articles to his credit.)
