By Monica Mitty
We are all undone in different ways, I suppose. I find myself returning to this thought more often than I would like to admit. Not as a casual remark, but as something that seems to demand serious reflection.
Horrors unleashed!
The past month has offered several reminders of what “undoing” looks like – both in print media and in real life. A colleague’s sudden emotional breakdown, disturbing news reports, and the endless stream of scripted distress on television and social media have all contributed to a sense that something is fraying around us. Instances of people unravelling – sometimes quietly, sometimes violently – seem harder to ignore.
Triggers!
What is striking is how ordinary the triggers appear to be. A careless remark. An argument that escalates too quickly. Heat, exhaustion, financial pressure, emotional strain – all accumulating silently until they spill over in ways that are difficult to comprehend, and even harder to contain. The result, at times, is tragic: acts of violence within families, among long-standing companions, or even between strangers who briefly collide in moments of instability.
Our Response!
As a society, we often respond with shock, followed by a kind of resigned commentary. At times, it feels easier to attribute this to an “end of days” narrative, to speak in terms of doom rather than to examine what is unfolding beneath the surface.
Don’t Let Stress Stack Up!
Many emotional breakdowns don’t come from a single moment – they come from several small stressors piling up until the mind can no longer hold them together. This is why “heat stacking” in daily life matters so much. When basic discomforts overlap – hunger with an argument, exhaustion with a serious discussion, or physical heat with confrontation – the ability to respond calmly drops sharply. In such moments, even minor issues can feel overwhelming or explosive. Learning to notice these combinations and gently delaying or reshaping difficult conversations can prevent unnecessary escalation. Sometimes, the simplest form of emotional care is just not adding pressure on top of pressure.
Respond, Don’t React: Learn the Rhythm of Moods!
We don’t need psychobabble to explain what is often very simple – we are creatures of habit. Most of our responses, and even our conflicts, follow patterns that repeat if we pay attention. The real skill is learning to recognise these mood patterns in ourselves and in others. When we begin to see these rhythms clearly, we can choose stronger responses instead of automatic reactions. A strong response is not an angry one; it is an informed one – measured, aware, and shaped by understanding rather than impulse. The difference lies in that small moment of recognition: noticing what is happening before we are carried away by it.
A Lived Experience!
I do not denounce psychology, but I have begun, in a small but growing way, to notice my own mood rhythms and reactions to situations. I am slowly realising that self-awareness is not abstract theory but lived experience. If people learn to observe these patterns in themselves, they can begin to interrupt their own undoing and rebuild their responses more consciously. I feel this is essential for genuine growth.
Speaking for myself, I used to respond to emotional emptiness by going on shopping sprees or over-explaining myself – anything to avoid sitting with what I didn’t want to acknowledge. I’m not saying these lapses don’t still happen, but now I recognise them sooner, and I try to respond from awareness rather than impulse.
A Wake-up Call!
My article is a wake-up call. If you choose to wake up, it may become a moment of quiet clarity – a wakeful, wondering awareness that changes how you see yourself and others.
