By Alok Joshi
We live in a world where youth and fresh beginnings are celebrated most joyously. But there is another truth that springs up unsung in quiet whispers: the truth that “love knows no age”. And the journey to love has no expiration date. Love can bloom at unexpected times and in situations over which nobody has any control.
I also have one such heartwarming story that needs to be celebrated because it reaffirms that meaningful connections can happen at any stage in life.
A few weeks ago, my school classmate and close childhood friend got married. We had studied together in the same city, same school, same section, right from Class 1 until Matriculation. After school, we went through our respective journeys and lost touch. We reconnected a couple of years back after four decades when I was away holidaying in the US. The person who connected us is our third childhood friend, a livewire, jolly fellow, an ex-Air Force/ commercial pilot. We three were close buddies because we had lived and grown up on the same University campus where our dads worked. We met again at the golden jubilee celebrations of our Class 10 group. The bonding was instant … forty years of oblivion forgotten … no questions asked. School friends are undoubtedly the best.
To clarify, it was my friend’s second marriage. When I told my young relatives that I was going to attend “my friend’s wedding reception”, they gave me a surprised look. Perhaps for them people after retirement age are antique artifacts supposed to be confined to living rooms. But that is not the whole truth. Age, they rightly say, is just a number.
Unfortunately, his first wife (whom I had never met) passed away a few years ago. He had tried his best to save her at the hands of the best doctors and hospitals. He even donated a part of his liver to her, but fate decided otherwise.
But then life goes on. Nothing stops. He is a globe-trotting guy, still busy with work and full of energy. He decided to continue to live life and rightfully so. He has been an inspiration to many of us and remains a great friend.
I had reconnected with him just after a few months of his wife’s demise. He had lost his world. But he never let his deep loss and pain surface on his face. My cursory glance at the coffee table book of his late wife and conversations with him in his home left me with a lingering deep thought about how much he loved her.
He met his present wife, whom his parents had known for a long time. She had also lost her husband around the same time. They met, dated patiently for almost 5 years before tying the knot. They realised they were compatible and began to enjoy spending time with each other. Both love travelling and music. Sounds simple. But it was not an easy task to convince everybody, including their children and in-laws. My friend has a sweet daughter, and his present wife is also blessed with two children. Love happens and finds a way. Patience always pays. Eventually everyone concerned gave their consent for their second innings.
I was super excited to attend his wedding reception with my wife, even if it meant a special outstation trip. It was such a special moment for him, and I wanted to be part of his journey. As a bonus, I was expecting to meet a few more school classmates whom I was missing.
The big day arrived. The event had been meticulously and thoughtfully planned by the couple in a five-star hotel. They had already done the court marriage a few days earlier. Now it was celebration time. The couple was already there to welcome us. We all were accommodated in the hotel itself. Even some local friends stayed in the same hotel. That was indeed a smart move. The warm-up happened at the rooftop lunch where I met several known and unknown faces.
The evening was the main event. Beyond my anticipation, there were more than a hundred guests to bless the couple. We school friends, about 10 of us, grabbed a front round table opposite the stage. There was music, dance, DJ, ghazals, speeches, cake, lavish food and not to forget top notch whisky. For me there were three sentimental highlights…his daughter dancing full blast on the floor (in her dear papa’s wedding), the presence of his first wife’s mother (indeed very sweet of her) and his own mother (on a wheel-chair) and the emotional speeches (followed by uncontrolled tears) from both sides while sharing their feelings publicly.
We drank and danced until dawn. It felt as if it was some young couple’s wedding. We too felt young.
The reason I shared this story is to remind ourselves that love can happen at any age. Everyone has a right to move on and find his/ her own happiness. Our conservative societal norms are hollow and outdated. I am sure we all know of many lonely elders who could never muster up enough courage to find partners in the fear of “what will people say”. In the west, it is not uncommon to hear an elderly couple say, “MY children and YOUR children are playing with OUR children.” Life does not end with one misfortune. It is about time that our society also changes its mindset and breaks away from the shackles of obsolete social norms.
My friend and his wife had navigated the ups and downs in life, raised kids and learned lessons along the way. They felt connected, happy and safe with each other. They realised that they were trustworthy partners. After all the chaos in life, they deserve some calm, some support, some companionship and a lot of fun.
(Alok Joshi is former Director (HR & Marketing) PetroChina (CNPC); Head HRD, GNPOC, Sudan; Head HR, Mumbai High Asset, ONGC; Civil Services probationer; author of three books and has over a hundred published articles to his credit.)
