By Col Sudhir Rana (Retd)
Oldies like me, who were born in the fifties of the last century, generally were raised by strict parents. Those diligent gardeners, made sure that their plants dig not grow into an unruly mess. We were pruned and given shape regularly. Our elders, parents and even well-meaning neighbours had a role in shaping our personalities, as everyone in small towns and villages was our custodian and the younger generation was under constant observation and scrutiny. This system was more efficient than present day CCTV cameras. The fear of these unknown gunmen made us walk a narrow path of discipline and good behaviour. If one met an elder and if one did not pay respect or offered him or her a seat, probably one would be corrected and a copy of your misdeed dispatched to your parents. How you dressed or behaved mattered to all. Using cuss words was just not on. Any such misadventure would result in corporal punishment and one had to wash one’s mouth with soap. Any wrong act, e.g., cheating or stealing would result in instant punishment.
When they became parents, born in hardship and strict parental and family gaze, were not so strict with their children, who were not under constant gaze of their elders. The parents were busy earning and saving for their progeny. Both the parents worked so that they could provide the best possible facilities and comforts to their children. This double income family could provide facilities, but could not spend quality time with the children. There was no one to teach the next generation about good manners, social skills and etiquette. Joint families had been replaced by nuclear ones, where constant observation and advice of elders were missing. As a result, the new generation treat their parents only as providers and ATMs. They look for emotional support from their classmates, social media friends and even strangers. Lots of them put their personal lives at risk by uploading their private information on the internet. This has made them vulnerable to undesirable attention and influence of exploiters, blackmailers, drug dealers and molesters, etc. They seek approval of total strangers in social media.
Then it became fashionable for children, to go out of station for higher studies. This emigration has led to more freedom and zero control by parents. These younger people indulge in risky behaviour. Rudeness has become an in thing. It is cool to be rude and inconsiderate towards others. Coolness is actually a euphemism for sadism or cruelty. Coolness is how you can be subtly, hidden cruel from a distance to lots of people. Being cool has become the essential diet of present day society. We are all infected cool zombies going around being cruel to others without even knowing it. Drugs, risky behaviour and cussing are the new norms.
The language of the young has become more and more crude and abominable. Good manners and etiquette are not cool for them. The movies, stand up comedies and so called live TV shows have become more vulgar and crude by the day. This disease has slowly spread in our daily lives and in public discourse, too. Our leaders, actors, sports persons and other role models also indulge in crudeness, bawdy speech and vulgarity. This virus of vulgarity has infected the girls and women too. In a recent show a girl medical student insulted a dead cadaver, who had donated his body so that doctors like her could get trained in anatomy. One survey indicates that children between age of 9 and 17 are spending excessive time on social media leading to behavioural issues such as aggression, impatience and lack of concentration. Nearly 95% of surveyed teachers said they heard profanities frequently on campus, and over 80% felt it had increased in the last few years. A majority of them said it was the influence of popular culture and society, which was percolating down to the younger generation.
A vulgar, crude and insensitive society is just a cluster of animals. A decent society is built on civilised behaviour, empathy, courtesy, decency and mutual respect. Our conduct, attitude and language tells our real value to others.
Is it too late to reverse the trend?
